Practicing self-love also comes in the form of forgiveness.
Why do we shower every day or why do we wash our clothes after they’ve been soiled? Why do we repeat things that we know will eventually have to do again?
It’s a part of the cycle of what we call life and just like we maintain these habits to cleanse ourselves, we must do the same internally. That is the importance of forgiveness. It is a form of self-care that we often overlook, or just completely neglect.
So often we are so hard on ourselves that even if some thing as simple as being late, we apologize. We say "oh my goodness, I'm sorry I am late." Rather than saying "sorry I’m late", let's change that context to say "thank you for waiting" or "I was running late. Thank you for your patience."
Do you see the difference?
Forgiveness also comes in the form of who and what you see when you look in the mirror. Don’t punish yourself for eating that “cheat meal." It’s not like that one meal made you look how you are today. Tell yourself "I love my body and I choose to nourish it accordingly. Perhaps, I have chosen a less fulfilling option nutritiously; however. I am fulfilled in satisfaction."
Do you see the difference?
Forgiving ourselves is a beautiful and empowering method of self-love. When we're trying to overcome an obstacle, it's easier to drown in sorrow and feel bad for ourselves. Rise above that.
Cancel those pity party reservations.
You are not stupid for giving that person another chance. You are not a failure for making that mistake at work. You are not a bad friend for missing that party. You are not these labels put onto you by being your harshest critic.
Heal your shame to heal your pain. - Amera Fattah
Become more empathetic to yourself. There are several ways to better cope with forgiving yourself. Here are some of my personal tips in practicing self-forgiviness.
Feel your feelings. Allow yourself to classify the emotions as anger, sadness, hurt, anxiety, etc.
Acknowledge the situation for what it is. Talk to yourself out loud. What about the situation is bothering you?
Label the pain. Label the pain, not yourself. "This situation [feeling] [verb] me because ______"
Listen to your gut & give a but. If your intuition is shifting you away, listen to it. Just don't allow fear to consume you. For example, if you had a cheat meal, that doesn't mean you have to give up your diet entirely and forget about exercise. Your intuition might tell you that you're tired or this lifestyle isn't for you. Correct it by saying "but I am capable of transforming any day and everyday."
Be your own BFF. Ever realize how kind and wise you are when giving advice to your friend, loved one or even a stranger? Be that kind and even a bit kinder to yourself.
Hit pause on the past. There's no need to constantly reflect back on the situation or the pain. Our brain tends to relive traumas based on the impact on us. Break that cycle.
You are not what happened to you.
You matter. Your mistakes don't. Everything that's happened to you, happened FOR you. I hope you find the strength to cope and create something better and greater for yourself, by yourself.